down the rabbit hole

milkglassmao:

smartasshat:

shoesonwrong:

I have all this baby pressure shit coming in at me from all sides. Friends, family… well, that’s about it. Strangers aren’t approaching me and asking me why I am sans offspring. Yet.

Today, I was ranting to my mom about how stupid it is that a former childhood friend of mine started popping out kids about as soon as she could vote INTENTIONALLY. As soon as one stops breastfeeding, she starts in with another, and now she’s complaining that she can’t go to college. Then my mom said, “Well, she’s married. That’s what counts. And she stays home with them instead of *dirty look* working and sending them to daycare.”

Now, I am not saying that having kids young automatically equals gloom and doom. I know there are plenty of people who got pregnant young (intentionally or not) and it worked out for them. Their kid is here and happy and normal and they are good parents and happy people. Bully for them.

I am just frustrated that by getting married young, many people think I put myself on some domestic conveyor belt that will take me through the logical steps of home ownership, baby, baby, dog, swingset, minivan, and then waiting for retirement. When asked why I don’t have kids yet (I am twenty-four), I say because I don’t know if I want children.

This elicits one of two responses. The first one being “Oh, you’ll change your mind!” And suggests that were I to get accidentally pregnant I would just “love it so much.” Which okay, sure, I hope some maternal instinct would kick in because accidentally leaving a baby at Taco Bell and having to pick it up from Child Services would get old pretty fast. I’m not maternal. I don’t know how to interact with children from their infant larval stage until they’re old enough to drive. I’m not one of those people who bitches about kids in public areas (assuming they’re not being total brats) because hey, thanks for keeping the human race going for us, stranger — I’m certainly not doing my part. I don’t know if these lack of maternal feelings will change. They might. They might not. I am not too stressed about it. I stress out when the five-thousandth person has told me, “Oh, you’ll change your mind.” And acted as if that’s an appropriate thing to flippantly say to someone regarding a major life decision.

(As far as getting accidentally pregnant — I would be giving birth to a messiah, believe me, because I don’t ovulate. My eggs, I do not lay them. And frankly, it’s awkward to be in a position where someone keeps harping on what I will do when I “accidentally” get pregnant. Is this when I forget my birth control and we don’t use a condom and my remaining ova that aren’t encapsulated in cysts suddenly start to decide shooting down the fallopian tube? OH I’M SORRY, DID THIS CONVERSATION JUST BECOME AWKWARD FOR YOU, PERSON TELLING ME HOW MUCH I SECRETLY WANT A BABY?)

The second response is, “Then why did you get married?” Um, I got married to be married? I got married a young age when probability of divorce was high so I thought compounding that tenuous situation with an unwanted baby was not a good idea? Marriage does not equate to pregnancy, and I can’t even fucking believe I’m still hearing this shit from people. Furthermore, getting married is a decision I entered into with one other consenting adult and is a reversible decision. What do you do when you have a kid when you’re not ready and then it’s here but you feel like you should have listened to your gut and now you feel like you are trapped as a parent? Give it away and start telling everyone you know that they just IMAGINED that toddler you used to have?

We tell people that we like sleep.

(Reblogging the entire post for the people who have decided not to follow the wonderful Shoesonwrong. Don’t worry. You’ll change your mind.)

(There are people that don’t follow Shoesonwrong?? What the fuck is the matter with them?)

Reblogging because this is exactly how everyone of my high school friends are.  They all got married between 18 and 21 to some returned missionary they knew for anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months and immediatley started popping out kids.

I hate you sometimes, Utah.